I haven’t done a Lemon Tree post in awhile, and I’ve had some thoughts swirling around in my head, so I decided now was a great time to talk about some of what I’ve been thinking about. And you, my friends, are my helpless passengers…he he he 🙂 (buckle up!)
Do you ever feel like there are so many aspects of your life that are out of your control? That you just want to FIX stuff, and nothing seems to be cooperating…? That’s where I’ve been lately.
Confession: One of the biggest issues I’ve been battling is my self- image.
It seems silly right?? Because I have full confidence in the person that I am. I even have full confidence that I’m in great physical condition.
But I’ve had several hormonal imbalance issues that caused me to gain weight, and that I’m now not able to lose, no matter how hard I work out or how well I eat. Frustrating, isn’t it?
♥ I have very little visual evidence of the last 10 years of my life. I hate seeing pictures of myself. I actively avoid any sort of camera as much as possible.
♥ At times, I’m embarrassed to be out and about in my workout clothes, because I feel like people are judging me as an imposter, even though I work out almost every day.
♥ I get discouraged because I don’t look like I feel I SHOULD look, considering the amount of time I dedicate to fitness.
Does any of this sound familiar to anyone else? (I know I can’t be alone in this!) Sounds a bit defeatist, doesn’t it…?
It’s exactly these negative thoughts that have sent me into a new objective this year! I’m tired of feeling like a passive participant in my progress. I’m tired of judging myself based on how I perceive others view me. I’m done hoping for an outside source to “fix” how I see myself!
*LIGHT BULB MOMENT*
If you try something, and don’t get the results you want, and then you try it again, and you’re still disappointed…and then you try it again, and (wait for it…) it still doesn’t work out the way you want…umm…you might want to stop doing that and try something new, dum-dum*.
(*Note: me dum-dum, not you dum-dum. Unless you relate to dum-dum, then you dum-dum)
Let’s get down to the meat and potatoes of this post.
So many people believe that when the conventional path doesn’t work, the result is failure. That absolutely breaks my heart. As someone who has made a habit of living contrary to the road well-traveled, I see SO MANY possibilities besides the obvious path.
For me, that means researching, discovering, and tackling new methods to deal with health and wellness. But more than that, it means owning (not belittling) all the hard work I’ve put in. It means shining in my accomplishments. It means LOVING the person I’ve grown into. And when I look at the trials and disappointments in my journey, I can realize that those were amazing moments too, because it forced me to research and learn EVEN MORE.
(If you need to, please read that again…No really. It’s important. I’ll wait…)
Although that lovely section in bold lettering within the very pretty flourishes may be written within the scope of my specific experience, the message is universal. And I feel confident that EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. can take it and relate it to their own experiences!
Who knows? Maybe what I learn and pass along will even help others! (I am, after all, a fountain of information) I know it has put ME in a better state of mind, and helped me realize some inner peace.
My journey to self- acceptance, while frustrating, and let’s face it- HARD– has rewarded me with some zen among the chaos.