My first date. I remember it like it was yesterday, and like it was another lifetime ago.
I was 15 years old- NOT old enough to date yet- but my parents knew him and liked him, so allowed me to go. My sister and her boyfriend chaperoned. It was a disaster and perfect all at the same time. It was exactly what you expect a first date to be. Within a week, he asked me to be his girlfriend. He even gave me his ring to wear.
It was sweet. I felt like I was ahead of the game. And it lasted for three precious weeks. And then I broke up with him because he was immature. (Before you “boo” me, I should state that he mooned me in choir after we broke up. My 15 year old self didn’t realize that boys act like children to get a girl’s attention.)
As awkward and painful as those days were, there is something so authentic and self-realizing about it. So where did dating go? Did it even say goodbye when it left, or did it just kind of slip out the door quietly and gradually? The last time I went out and confidently felt like it was a date- that we were both on the same page and had the formality factor of DATING- was circa 2002.
Somewhere after that, dating fell by the wayside. Looking back, I thought it was dating. Who knows…maybe the guys thought so too. Maybe people just don’t know any better anymore.
Just whatever. (that’s my favorite. Ambiguous much?)
Those are just some of the silly names I’ve heard it called.
There seems to be a complete lack of commitment to seeing someone these days. I wonder if it’s because people aren’t socialized the same anymore… Or if they’re so flooded with options that they don’t want to, or know how to, narrow their options… Or they’re so afraid of putting themselves out there, that they take comfort in knowing that superficial relationships are the norm.
Even when I see people out on what I assume is a date, more often than not, both parties have their phones out, barely talking to each other. Granted, I’ll be the very first to admit that making conversation can be HARD, but come on! How do you ever move past awkward, if you don’t go full steam straight through it?
It’s tragic, really… I miss the idea of dating. I miss having someone go out on a limb to ask me for my number and ask me if I’d go out with them. Now it’s:
“hey, wanna come over?”
“maybe I’ll see you there,”
“hey a bunch of us are going to…”
Be still my heart…
As much as I want to be out of the dating market, I don’t want the dating market to disappear!
Bring back dating! Bring back the ritual of dressing up, and fretting about what to wear, and “what will we talk about?” , and “where will we go?”, and “how will it end…?”
I suppose the bright side is that people are, at some point, looking up from their phones long enough to go out with each other!
QOTD: Have you had similar or different experiences in dating? What are your thoughts about the dating world these days?