lifestyle

And Now I’ll Do What’s Best For Me

Remember that crazy post I did about choosing your word to live by for 2016?  And how I was really gung-ho about focusing on “self” this year?  Well guess what…?

I have been called out.

The universe looked at me and said, “oh yeah?  Show me your hand.”  Already.  I mean, come on.  Give a girl a minute to get her feet under her this semester!

And just like that, I was placed in a situation to make a specific choice for myself…It could have gone either way, but I recognized the opportunity and opted to take action.

What's best for me

Let me catch you up (without being too specific or naming names).  I had an opportunity this semester that I was super excited about.  Not only would it be a cool experience, but I felt like I’d also get quite a bit of practical experience.  I started with this new opportunity last week…and I didn’t like it.  It just didn’t. feel. right.  You know?

Enter: my thought process <stage left>


What the heck was that?  Okay, that was weird and awkward, and uncomfortable.  But it’s your first day, give it a chance…Things are always weird at first.  You knew everyone was going to be super young, it’s not that big of a deal.    

Wow it was so nice to be 22 and idealistic and have everything figured out.  I miss that…  Wait, they expect me to work outside my hours?  But that’s not how it’s supposed to work.  So much for flexibility and understanding. I don’t have time to do all this.  I’m not getting paid to do this.  I don’t want to do this.  

Ohmygod I have to sit at a cubicle??  *panic* Calm down.  But I never ever ever want to sit at a cubicle again. Is this really what I want to do for the rest of my life? No. Then why are you doing it? It’s a practical skill. I’ll be able to get a job with it.  A job you like? I don’t know. Maybe. Doing this…? Well…no.  But it’s practical. It’s a good skill. I don’t want to do this…  Stop being flighty.  You do this a lot.  You just need to give it a chance.  One time is not enough to make a decision about how something is going to be.  *butsomething’snotright!!*

Thisdoesn’tfeelrightThisdoesn’tfeelrightThisdoesn’tfeelrightThisdoesn’tfeelright.  Chill out.  It’s four months. Even if things don’t get better, you can do this for four months.  You were at a job you hated for four years, you can certainly do this for four months.  

Wait.  WHY would you do this for four months if you don’t like it?  Why would you do this for four months if it’s not right??  How many times have you stuck with something because you thought it was the practical decision, in the hopes that it would get better?  What did you miss out on because you opted to stick with something WRONG but PRACTICAL?  

Stop being dumb. FIX IT.


That’s the gist of the (highly edited) monologue that’s been playing over and over in my head for the last week.  My usual order of business would have been to just go with it, live with it, and hope it gets better, all the while dreading the next time I had to go in.

When I realized I was in a state of panic about having to go back, I KNEW I had to make a change.   That is EXACTLY what my 2016 focus is all about.

put yourself first


I took the responsible steps to change my situation- first and foremost by realizing that my situation was changeable.


 

I was not stuck, and I refused to stay and get comfortable in a situation that was wrong for me (as per my usual protocol).  I have managed to put myself first.  I’ve managed to change where I’m at, rather than sitting in discomfort in a situation that’s not for me.

I can’t even tell you how proud I am of myself, and I’m desperately hoping this is the start of a new way of thinking for me!  Because now I catch myself reflecting- How many times have I missed out on something great, because I was so stuck on being stuck??

It’s a sobering thought.  And absolutely one worth keeping in mind going forward!  I feel so good about my decision, and can’t wait to see what my new experience has to offer me!

This is a truly positive step in my quest toward SELF and HAPPINESS!

happy

Have you ever found yourself being stuck for the sheer comfort of being stuck?  Did you have the courage to change it?

How is your 2016 word going so far?

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4 thoughts on “And Now I’ll Do What’s Best For Me

  1. I just posted a response and it didn’t post.😕 So if there are two slightly similar comments from me I apologize.
    I am so glad the story ended the way it did! All the way through the monologue, all I could think was “STOP! Turn around! Run the other way!!!!” Good for you Carrie. Great job, I know that was a hard decision. And yes, I have made that mistake. I continued on with hair school knowing it was not for me. I didn’t drop out for 8 months and by then I had to pay the full amount for the school. Worst. Decision. Ever.😡

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! The conclusion of the story: I ended up having to just drop my internship and postpone graduation until the end of summer. I’ve been dealing with all kinds of health stuff, including adrenal fatigue, all major hormone levels low, and thyroid nodules- and just didn’t have the energy to put into the internship right now. Thank you for the support!!! It helps (a lot) to have people in my corner and who understand why I made certain choices ❤

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      1. Perfect! I know that even when you know you’ve made the right decision, there is still a little unease. But in the long run you will be SO GLAD you did what you did.

        Like

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