life · life balance · lifestyle

Taking Time to Find Myself

Hi y’all!  I know…it’s been FOREVER (last August to be exact) since I last blogged.  There has been so much going on, and hopefully, as I previously promised on my instagram and facebook page,  I can share a bit of that with y’all.

40 years

First, can we just talk about how fast the last 12 months have flown by???  Good lord, where did it even go?  It’s been a blur and a lifetime, all at the same time.

I (mostly.  basically.) finished school (don’t get me started on the fight I had with them over having to retake a language requirement that I fulfilled TWENTY YEARS AGO)…I worked on my crafting business, but have ultimately put it on hold for awhile so I can get my bearings.

I’ve done a lot of soul-searching about what my future is going to look like (*spoiler alert*: I still don’t know).  I realized that when you get to a certain age, and “typical” things haven’t fallen into place- i.e. marriage and/or children- you really are forced to take a long, hard look at what the rest of your life is going to look like.  Which is terrifying.  Not just the uncertainty of “will I ever meet someone?”  Or the worry of how you’ll be taken care of as you get older.  But also the very real concern about financial limitations of one income, and the hope of retirement, or even financial stability extending all the way to end of life.

With all that in mind, I decided to become a beachbody coach,  I felt like it was a way to help myself physically, mentally, and financially.  I had been talking about it with a friend for over a year, off and on, and just hadn’t been ready to commit up to that point.  I finally decided to go for it, and had all these grand ideas about my friend and I building our businesses together and creating these great work-from-home lives while we helped people and became the very best versions of ourselves possible.

And then I found out she had gone inactive just as I was ready to commit.  And I really had to think about if this was something I was willing to pursue on my own…if it would be seen as a betrayal in her eyes for me to go with another coach…if this was really something I could press forward with on my own.  And knowing wholeheartedly that I am in this life on my own, I knew I had to take the risk.  So I became a coach under another coach- who I love and admire SO MUCH, and who inspires me every single day- and I knew I had made the right decision.  And I lost my friend.

If you want something that will gut-check you right out of the gate, that will do it.  And it has been so, so hard to reconcile and move forward from.  I jumped headfirst into coaching, knowing I wanted to help myself, and inspire others.  I LOVE my beachbody community.  I get to interact with some pretty freaking amazing people.  And hopefully I do inspire others.  But frankly, I SUCK at “marketing” myself.  I just wasn’t able to find a method of expressing myself that felt organic.  So I AM still a beachbody coach-I still use (and love) the products, I still offer a platform for people to invest in their own health, and I still participate in accountability groups, but I HAVE stepped back from actively “marketing” myself as a coach until I can find a way that feels natural and good to me.  (that was not a shameless plug, I swear!)

Begrudgingly being forced back into the daily grind with a day job, I’ve been compelled to step back from everything and think.  I’ve tried my hand at so many different platforms, resulting in so much frustration, that I honestly was left at a loss.  The one thread that tied everything together though, was that I realized with each new venture I tried, I STUDIED. TIRELESSLY.  I would research the heck out of how other people made their success, and then I’d try to emulate it- to complete and utter failure.  I spent so much time trying to sound the same as others, that I lost my voice.  And THAT’S why nothing ever felt organic or authentic.

But I need to write.  Not in the pursuit of profit.  Not with ulterior motives.  I just need to write.  And that drew me back to my blog.  So now, I will slowly be rolling out a beautiful, authentic, simple version of Traveling Homebody- with nothing in mind except to get the tangle of thoughts from my head to the page.

The new Traveling Homebody is going to be a smorgasbord of topics.  Will I be talking about workouts and beachbody?  Yes.  Crafting? Heck yeah!  Travels? Seriously, I can’t wait! Life? Try and stop me.  Randomness?  Undoubtedly.  Because life is a kaleidoscope of adventures, and I realized that every. single. thing. that I’ve tried, is an authentic part of who I am.

And that’s where I’ve been.  And that’s where I’m going.  I hope you’ll join me for the journey!

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