Complicated. Perplexing. Confounding. Befuddling. Confusing.
I mean, seriously…what the heck, man?? This ride was a whole lot more fun when I had everything figured out. Which was approximately immediately before I realized I knew nothing.
And since then, it’s like walking into a classroom and being told you have a test that you weren’t told about, weren’t able to prepare for, and you weren’t allowed to use any resources to help you, and you KNOW you’re failing the test AS. YOU’RE. TAKING. IT. And ohbytheway it’s 80% of your grade.
I come from a long line of “dream doers.” They always knew what they wanted to do with their life, and they achieved it. And I’m just over here like, “I want to join the circus…” (no really, I wanted to join the circus when I was little)
This is where it becomes tough to hash out the ins and outs…on one hand- I did something monumental from my “I want that” list- I worked for Disney. For nearly 4 years. It was a dream that I’d had since I was a pre-teen and I got it. And I’m so incredibly grateful for that part of my life- it has shaped me- in so many ways- into the person I am today.
On the other hand…like, am I done? Was that it? Is it really possible I maxed out in my 20s?? How do I go and live a new dream? This stuff is complicated. Because what the fudge am I supposed to do now?
Personal development has become my rock. It’s a staple in my daily routine, and inspires me to no end. It transforms the way I think, the way I act, and the way I see the world around me. But as helpful as that is, it hasn’t told me what to do. It hasn’t made my path any clearer.
And honestly, what the heck do I even google to find out what to do with my life?? I can only assume that when I google the right thing, it’ll be right next to the “easy button.”
So, like most adults with even a modicum of a sense of responsibility, I get a job that sounds promising on paper and has good benefits, while relentlessly pursuing the search for a greater bliss.
Possibly one of the most frustrating feelings in life is to know what you want your life to look like, with no idea how to bring it to the forefront of your reality. How do you pursue a dream to the extent that it becomes the life you’re able to live?
This is the elusive part. The fear of not knowing how to move forward toward the life you want to live is daunting- almost paralyzing.
And each day that goes by without coming closer to those dreams adds to the awareness that time is ticking by, life is moving forward, and the courage it takes to keeping pushing toward the life you know you’re meant to live becomes more challenging to draw upon. What else is there to do though? We must keep actively pursuing the lives we’re passionate to meet. We’re meant for so much more.
But seriously…what do I google?