Something came to my attention recently, and it kind of threw me for a loop… I’m wrong sometimes. About myself. About my body. About how I see myself versus how things really are.
I know… let’s all just breathe. We’ll get through this together…
This was no accidental discovery on my part either. This was a deliberate taking and processing of information rooted in numbers. So how could these numbers be telling me something so contradictory to how I see myself?
Let me explain. The team I’m on with beachbody is starting a new challenge this week. It had been a long time since I took measurements (for good reason…I didn’t want to know). I knew I had backslid- a lot- in my fitness level and progress since tearing up my ankle in January. I could see the proof in the mirror. I really didn’t want to see corresponding numbers to go with it.
But, like a good little soldier, I did it. I was terrified, but I did it. Because it’s better to face things head on and know what we’re dealing with, right…? Sure. Why not… (FYI: progress is way more fun than starting points…)
When I got my numbers down on paper, I started comparing them to December. Cause, you know…that’s the last time I took measurements, or provided myself any level of accountability, or was really able to push myself in a workout (ankle hanging by a ligament, remember? Also, I started a new job that effectively sucked all my time away). I’m sure I can come up with a few more perfectly valid excuses, but we’ll leave it right there.
I’m looking over these numbers and notice a half inch here, an inch there, and… NOTHING EARTH-SHATTERING. My waist, which I’ve been so unhappy with the last few months because I’ve literally watched it turn to marshmallow fluff, hadn’t changed measurements at all! I know there’s been some overall loss of muscle mass and gains in fluff (turns out not all gains are good gains), but for the time being, it has balanced itself out.
So how was what I was seeing in the mirror SO DIFFERENT than the reality presented to me on paper?? Even now, as I know the numbers, I still see what I saw before. Which is not at all what I saw in December (and not in a good way).
Perceptions can be tricky. Especially when you’re judging yourself. The mirror has more than one truth. Your shadow has different truths depending on the angle of the sun and what you’re wearing. Others have a different truth of you than you have for yourself. And among those others, every single person sees something different when they see you.
Is it all real? Or is it all false? Is there such a thing as a TRUE, unbiased version of you? Because perceptions, regardless of who they’re coming from, are fickle. They’re constantly evolving, and on the move.
The best- and hardest- thing a person can do for themselves is to throw away perceptions. Love your body as your vessel. It’s here to take you on this crazy adventure. More than anything, it’s your job to keep it strong, healthy, and up for the challenge. Oh, I know that is a tall order for most of us! Believe me, I know…
Thank goodness we’re works in progress, and at the end of this crazy journey we’re just supposed to turn in what we’ve finished, even if it’s not a finished product. Your body and your mind are designed to work together, not for each to judge and work against the other.
You are your own team. And that really is enough.